The Lipstick Massacre of 2010

It sounds scary because it was. 

I think I actually yelped.

Jane got a hold of a new dumb lipstick I'd just bought. It is one of those crazy colorfast types that DO NOT COME OFF, especially when caked and layered upon itself.

I was mad. 

At her for doing it,

At myself for not paying better attention to her quiet ways,

For buying that dumb lipstick. 

I don't even wear lipstick.

Never again...

Okay, now prepare for a scare.

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I was mad when I was taking this picture, so when she smiled I said, "Don't smile!". 

I'm a mean mommy. I think she has since forgiven me though...

An innocent victim.

I spent over an hour cleaning them off, trying everything, then finally settling on using Vaseline and scrubbing with a wet rag. There were a few tears shed, and I gave up, letting Scott take over on Jane for another hour and a 1/2.

STEP 2

Cleaning that darn Vaseline out of her hair.

Had I known that it DOES NOT COME OUT, I would have used it a little more sparingly on her hair.

Sigh.

This morning (the lipstick massacre was last night) I washed Jane's hair 3 times. I used cornstarch as a binder to help chunk up the Vaseline, then washed it. 

Repeated those 2 steps. Then had her lay down so I could pour lemon juice on her head (this cause the most fear, but ONLY because it was cold, luckily). Then I shampooed her hair again. It's still wet, but I think it feels a little slimy still...

Any ideas on how to remove Vaseline from hair?

And how to get lipstick out of clothes?

Toddler Insanity

I'm about ready to scream.

You mommies out there understand.

Sigh

Here is a list of things Jane has done today, before 11 am (which used to be before I woke up...a million years and lifetimes ago)...

1. Lucy eats at about 8am so I usually do this task while still laying down in bed, and Jane likes to come jump on me while this is happening. I am a victim of my laziness, yet refuse to change my circumstances. Today she nuzzled up next to Lucy, but in a bad way, and I had to keep shoving her off of our tiny baby.

2. While mommy and daddy are busy getting up and ready and changing a mother load of a Lucy blow out (this was bad, it took 4 hands to keep from getting poop on her head), Jane sneaks into her bathroom and somehow opens the Children's Tylenol and starts gobbling them down. I think, "Jane is awfully quiet"... I catch her in the act, scream at Scott to call poison control and start doing exactly what they always say not to...try and make her throw up. She is amazingly calm while all this is happening. Scott gives the guy all the stats, then we stop and count to see how many she actually ate and it turns out to only have been 4-6 max. So, the poison control guy tells us all is well. He even called me a couple of hours later to make sure things were okay with Jane (saying that "we don't normally do this for kids who eat that little of an amount...etc").

3. I'm doing the dishes in the kitchen and asked Jane to clean up some toys, giving her specific directions (which have been falling on DEAF ears today) and she comes into the kitchen and puts a Target plastic bag over her head. SCREAM!!! Yeah, that's the story of my day. I am a screaming mom.

4. I'm trying to put sad Lucy down for a nap, patting her back just like the Baby Whisperer told me to do. Sigh...sometimes the effort is not worth it...
...Jane is awfully quiet again...
I catch her with an open bottle of infant Ibuprofen to her lips.
We thought we'd cleaned the medicine cabinet out. ARGH!!!
I'm pretty sure she didn't get much at all because that stuff moves like molasses and there wasn't much left anyway.

As a side note: yesterday Jane stuck a closed pen down Lucy's throat and Lucy obviously screamed bloody murder. Could have been worse (that's what I keep telling myself).

Well, since she's all drugged up, I just might get a decent nap out of her today.
Don't judge.
As Jane would say, "My tired".

Update: Jane also decided to stick both ends of a pipe cleaner into 2 sockets. Luckily nothing happened except for my screaming again.
Good times.