Yesterday, while carrying Jane, I fell down. It has been one of my greatest fears and it finally came true and yet, we both survived. We had just left our friend's house who had fed us yummy veggie curry. I was carrying Jane and noticed that her hoodie hood and the hat to her coat had just fallen off so I put them both back on her head (a blessing in disguise). Then we went outside, with Scott along beside us, when, as I stepped off the curb my right ankle collapsed beneath me and Jane and I went tumbling down. It was one of those experiences that is so scary that while it happens, and when you think about it after, the situation occurs in slow motion. I was carrying Jane in my right arm, her face was facing mine (another blessing in disguise). I remember my right ankle twisting beneath me so I tried to fall to the left to protect Jane, then I fell forward into the gravelly asphalt landing on my left hand, then my left knee skid on the ground, then, nightmare of all nightmares, I saw Jane looking at me with her GIANT eyes saying with those eyes, "what are you doing, mommy?!". Then I saw her land on my arm on the asphalt then slowly, as I yelled "OH NO!", she fell backwards and hit the back of her padded little head on the asphalt. She and I immediately started crying and Scott dropped to me to see if I was OK, then grabbed Jane and consoled her while I wept in anguish on the ground. Angry at myself for not contorting my body enough to protect my baby. For not reacting quickly enough. Because my ankle HURT! Because, what if Jane now has brain damage?! Because, THAT WAS DUMB!
Falling down when you are an adult is one of the most ridiculous things. You just feel dumb and you get hurt really bad because you are WAY to big to fall down now that you are all grown up.
I slipped and fell once while pregnant with Jane and we both survived that one too. 2 times in 2 years isn't too bad.
One time at BYU I was running to class in the rain in some really slick FILA sandals (remember those, all you 90's people?), yeah, I know it was dumb. Right as I came out from under the covered walkway south of the HBLL, I hit that little slope on the way to the SWKT and slid the whole way down it on my sandals then fell on my butt in the middle of a huge crowd of people who where older and better dressed than me (I was in my pajama bottoms, I don't know why I thought they were cool enough to wear to class!!!). Ugghh. That was embarrassing. However, that was not the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. Only a select special few know that story and I'm going to have to keep it that way. Let's just say I was gastrointestinally challenged while in the right place at the wrong time.
Anyway, back to my latest folly. Jane's obviously just fine. (I checked her pupils, made sure she didn't fall into a coma while sleeping, you know...all the neurotic mommy stuff.) I'm fine too. My ankle is pretty sore, but it will recover. My hand is scraped up, but it will recover. My knee is a little scabby, which is just weird because I'm a grownup. My mommy pride is a little beat up, but it will also recover. However, my jeans...only spray 'n wash can save them now.
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